


This is Not a Kia Commercial (But It Sure Feels Like It)

by wherehopelies



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Comedy, F/F, Help, I am so sorry, Ridiculous, hamster!beca
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-24
Updated: 2015-08-24
Packaged: 2018-04-16 23:48:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4644585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wherehopelies/pseuds/wherehopelies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Beca just blinks because this would be awkward enough if she wasn’t a tiny furry rodent."</p><p>Anonymous inquired: Prompt: Beca signs up as to be a test subject for an experiment so she can make some extra money. There is an accident and her consciousness is temporarily switched with a hamster. Now Chloe has to look after Becahamster for three days while the machine is prepared. Bonus points for it being from Becahamsters pov and her experiencing what it's like to be non stop with Chloe for three days</p>
            </blockquote>





	This is Not a Kia Commercial (But It Sure Feels Like It)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Galpalkru](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Galpalkru/gifts).



> warning: really dumb stuff up ahead. 
> 
> Gifted to my dear aca-wifey, galp-something who is also just known as bicamitchell because we laughed about this prompt for hours and i think she's my biggest fan...

Beca doesn’t  _do_  this.

Participating in on-campus student experiments is a thing reserved for psych majors in need of credit and stoners who want a little extra cash flow for their munchie-motivated Dorito cravings.

Beca Mitchell is neither of those things and she just  _doesn’t_  do this.

But yesterday, some moronic freshman spilled his coffee on her headphones and she’d bought a new HQ mic and is completely broke, and she can’t go one more day using this shitty backup pair she has. She just can’t.

So here she is, volunteering to test some “teleporter” thing that she’s about 3000% sure isn’t going to work just to make an extra hundred bucks.

Whatever.

She  _needs_  those headphones.

“Okay,” the head of the project, a girl with unreally long legs in a lab coat, says. “So you just stand in this pod, and theoretically, when I program it to go, your molecules will disintegrate and travel through these tubes and into that pod over there, where they’ll reformulate back into the body shape you have now.”

“Right,” Beca says, eyeing the pods warily. They look like a death trap waiting to collapse.

 _It’s all worth it for the money_ , she reminds herself. It’s not like she’s  _actually_ gonna teleport, right? That’s not real.

“Umm, Stacie?”

A pretty girl with red hair pops into the lab, causing the leggy physics student to turn her head. “Hey, Chloe, what’s up?”

The redhead looks around curiously, eyes crinkled in worry. “Have you seen a hamster anywhere in here? One got loose from Lab 3.”

Stacie shakes her head, frowning sympathetically. “Nuh uh. Wait. Aren’t you in Lab 3?”

The girl, Chloe, blushes. Beca would think it was cute probably if she wasn’t in a hurry to just get this over with so she could collect her cash and hit up the store. “Umm. Don’t tell Professor Smith, okay? I’m gonna find him, I swear.”

Stacie just smiles. “You got it babe.” She turns back to Beca. “Okay, so go stand over on the left pod and let’s try this out.”

Beca sighs, shuffling over to stand in the left pod, praying that it doesn’t come down in a heap of scrap metal around her.

“So, now, I’m configuring the machine,” Stacie calls to her and Beca shrugs, only semi-grateful that the girl is walking her through the procedure. She just wants her money. “Are you ready?”

“Yeah, whatever. Fire away.” Beca stands there, watching as Stacie presses a few buttons on her computer. The other girl, Chloe, is crawling on the floor looking for her hamster.

This is a weird day.

Little did she know, it’s about to get weirder.

Stacie presses the Enter key on the computer and the machine whirs to life in a rush of flashing lights and shaking metal. Beca rolls her eyes at the drama of it all.

“Okay, here we go!” Stacie taps the keys a few more times, shoots Beca a look of meaningful excitement, and presses Enter again.

The metal around her sparks and vibrates, growing hot. Beca briefly has time to fear that she might be lit on fire, before her body starts to tingle.

And then.

Nothing.

Just blackness.

She pops back into existence one second later.

The first thing she notices is that she’s on the floor.

“Whoa!” She thinks that’s Chloe’s voice. “Oh my God, Stace! Did it work?”

Beca hears shuffling, wondering why everything feels simultaneously too loud and at a distance. Why does this pod seem so huge? She tries to push herself up, but she’s not going anywhere.

Then she realizes.

She tries to scream, but nothing happens, her body only emitting a high-pitched squeak.

“Hey,” Chloe says, her tone taking on an edge of confusion. “Her body is still in this left one, Stace. But umm. I don’t think… Stacie?”

The door to the pod whips open and Stacie’s body looms above Beca. She stares up at the girl, afraid. Beca knows she’s short and Stacie had a good half foot on her to begin with, but now the girl is a giant.

Literally. A giant.

What the fuck?

“Umm,” Stacie says, her eyes narrowing in curiosity. “Chloe… I think… I think I found your hamster.”

Beca blinks.

WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

She tries to dart past Stacie and out into the lab, but Stacie is too quick for her and cups her hands around Beca’s body. Or. This hamster’s body.

She’s trapped in a hamster’s body.

No. She’s going crazy. This is why she doesn’t do on-campus experiments. They’ve given her hallucinogens and now she’s imagining she’s a hamster.

“Come here, little buddy.” Stacie lifts Beca up to eye level, and Beca closes her eyes as her body is suddenly almost six feet in the air. “Aww. Who’s a cutie? You are!” Stacie gives her a kiss and Beca squeaks again.

“Here, Chlo. He’s all good.” Stacie walks over to the other pod where Chloe is looking inside, her face twisted in confusion.

“Something…” Chloe glances back at Stacie. “Something isn’t right, Stace.”

As Stacie approaches the pod, Beca gets a good look inside and she screams again. Well. Squeaks.

Because inside the pod is her  _body,_  or at least the body she sees every morning when she applies her eyeliner in the mirror. And it’s not  _doing_ anything, it’s just sitting there with a blank stare.

Beca is officially freaking out.

She starts squirming in Stacie’s hands, trying to get back to her body.

“Oh…” Stacie clamps her hands around Beca tighter, her eyes widening in surprise. “Oh  _no_.”

Beca’s body – her real body, not her hamster body – turns to look at Stacie with afraid eyes. Beca’s body wriggles its nose, sniffing the air.

“Do you…” Chloe looks between Beca’s body and Stacie. “What happened?”

Stacie shakes her head, and carefully passes hamster-Beca to Chloe’s hands. Chloe cups her palms around Beca gently, one of them petting over Beca’s back.

Beca can’t tell if she’s having a heart attack or if her new hamster heart always beats this fast.

Stacie leans over Beca’s human body, a gasp leaving her throat.

Then she says the words Beca had feared the most.

“I think I switched her mind with the hamster’s.”

//

So Beca’s a hamster.

A  _hamster_.

Beca doesn’t really like movies, but this shit is straight out of The Fly.

Help!

//

“Change her back!”

Stacie sighs, dropping her head into her hands. “It’s not that easy, Chloe!”

“Why not?” Chloe hugs Beca’s hamster body to her chest protectively. “That poor, tiny girl is stuck in the body of a hamster!”

Beca squeaks indignantly. She resents that.

“It’ll take me a few days to rework the calculations and reconfigure the machine! It’s not as simple as just reversing it, or I would!”

She feels Chloe’s body slump. “So what do we  _do?_ ”

Stacie squints her eyes shut, rubbing her temples. “Okay. I’ll try to do the calculations tonight, but it’ll be at least two days before we can try to change them back.”

“Two days?” Chloe’s mouth falls open. “Why not tomorrow? We can’t just leave them like this!”

Stacie shrugs. “That’s the best I’ve got right now.” She sighs. “Okay, you just… watch the hamster and I’ll… I dunno. Keep her body at the house.”

“That sounds like a disaster waiting to happen…” Chloe mutters.

“We don’t have any other options, right now.” She sighs and picks up her bags, grabbing Beca’s human body by the arm and forcing it to stand up. It looks around curiously before shrinking in on itself, clearly afraid.

Beca grumbles. That stupid hamster is totally going to ruin her street cred.

“Just,” Stacie shakes her head. “Put the hamster back in Lab 3 so it won’t escape and don’t tell Smith. We’ll figure it out, Chloe, I promise.”

Stacie starts to drag Beca’s body out the door before Chloe thinks of something. “Wait!” Stacie looks back. “What’s her name?”

Chloe holds Beca’s hamster-body up in the air. Beca squeaks again.

“Oh.” Stacie furrows her eyebrows, glancing down at the paperwork Beca had filled out. “Beca. Beca Mitchell.” Then Stacie’s gone and Beca’s human body with her.

Chloe lifts Beca up to her face. Her eyes are really huge and blue and Beca just stares.

Not like she can do much else, as you know, she’s a hamster. But.

Whatever. They’re pretty eyes, okay?

“Hi, Beca,” Chloe whispers. “I’m Chloe Beale. Don’t worry. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

Beca just squeaks.

//

Beca wishes Chloe would’ve just left her in the hamster lab overnight, if she’s being honest. Like sure, it probably smells horrible and there would’ve been other hamsters there which is weird, but she guesses it probably would’ve been better than being stuffed in Chloe’s backpack and carried around to the rest of her classes.

Russian Lit is really boring.

After her classes, Chloe has a cappella rehearsal, which is… interesting. Stacie is there and keeps shooting Chloe meaningful looks to which Chloe just responds with an innocent smile.

Sometimes, Chloe takes her out of the bag every so often and holds her up to eye-level, as if checking that Beca is still stuck in this stupid hamster body.

Beca doesn’t really know how Chloe can tell, but whatever.

Chloe has soft hands.

//

Beca’s not sure why she’s not freaking out more. Like, obviously she was at first, but now she’s just kind of resigned to the fact that she’s stuck in the body of a hamster. She’s not really sure what else there is to do because in case anybody had forgotten (Beca sure hasn’t), hamsters can’t talk.

So it’s not like she can even complain that she’s going to sue the shit out of the school (which she totally is) if she ever gets changed back.

Stacie somehow hacks into the Barden system and finds out all of Beca’s information and sends it to Chloe. Chloe sneaks into her dorm and grabs all of her stuff like her laptop so that she can send an email to Beca’s professors that she’s sick.

Beca’s not sure they’ll care. She doesn’t really go to class that much.

Chloe also tells Kimmy-Jin (that’s her roommate) that she’ll be gone for a few days.

Kimmy-Jin cares less about her absence than her professors.

All this is making Beca start to realize that she might as well be a hamster all the time for all impact she’s making in people’s lives.

//

Chloe Beale is, without a doubt, the nicest person that Beca has ever met.

Which is weird because Chloe hasn’t really met  _her_ , she’s just met Chloe.

Chloe opens doors for people and will hold them until a whole line of people filters through the entry, even if it makes her late for class.

She smiles without reason and hums while she does  _anything_ , and when she discovered the boy in front of her in line at the coffee shop forgot his wallet, Chloe pays for his latte no questions asked.

She keeps making sure Beca has water and stole hamster food from the lab so Beca doesn’t go hungry.

It’s just… really nice. And if Beca had to be trapped in this infuriatingly tiny body with anyone else, she’s not sure she’d make it. But with Chloe….

It’s not so bad.

//

She’s going crazy, isn’t she?

//

(By the way, hamster food is absolutely revolting.)

//

So, Chloe lives in this weird sorority house thing with her a cappella teammates.

Beca doesn’t get how a person could live with so many girls at once and not go on a murderous rampage, but apparently it’s possible.

When they get there, Beca is reunited with her human body, which is just sitting in Stacie’s room, asleep on the floor in the corner.

Beca finds this simultaneously hilarious and offensive and can’t help the continuous squeaks that come from her hamster-mouth as she laughs and also tries to yell at Stacie.

Chloe cups her to her chest in order to shut her up.

This whole not being able to talk thing is getting really inconvenient.

//

Chloe has a room in the house all to herself so she lets Beca down on the floor and closes the door.

“Please don’t run away, Beca. Because I’ll miss you, okay?”

Beca stares up at the giant that is Chloe and wonders why on earth she would run away. Then how the fuck would she get changed back into a human?

//

Being a hamster really sucks.

//

Chloe says Beca can sleep on a corner of her mattress if she wants to, but this whole thing is just really fucking weird (obviously) so Beca curls up in a tiny ball on Chloe’s bedside table.

Chloe stares at her hamster-body for a second with soft eyes before putting her earbuds in and trying to sleep.

Beca tries to sleep too, because if she closes her eyes then maybe when she wakes up this whole weird mess will have been a dream and she’ll be a human again.

But Chloe has those Apple earbuds that really suck at keeping the sound in your ears and Beca think she might even have increased hearing with this hamster body, so she can hear David Guetta blaring loud and clear throughout the room

Chloe has amazing music taste.

Beca carefully hops up off the night stand and over the gap between it and the bed, landing on Chloe’s mattress with a small thump. She crawls her way closer to Chloe, squeaking in fright when Chloe rolls over and opens her eyes, her gaze settling on Beca.

Chloe smiles slightly. “Hi?”

Beca just blinks at her. You know, as hamsters do.

“Can you hear my music?” Chloe asks, as if Beca can answer.

Beca can’t answer, in case anybody had forgotten that. Beca knows she sure hasn’t.

She squeaks instead.

Chloe narrows her eyes thoughtfully. “Do you… do you know David Guetta?”

Beca squeaks again.

“Squeak once if yes and twice if no.”

Beca squeaks once.

This is a really enthralling conversation.

Chloe sighs. “I can’t tell if you can actually understand me or if you’re squeaking for the hell of it. Either way, I’m going to pretend you can understand me.” She takes one of her earbuds out and sets it next to Beca. “There. Now you can listen to.”

Chloe scratches lightly under Beca’s chin, which uh, weird… but okay. Then she closes her eyes again.

Beca settles down next to the earbud, letting Chloe’s breathing ease her into sleep.

//

When she wakes up, she’s still a hamster.

Fuck everything.

//

Chloe carries her around in her backpack again all day. She goes to Chloe’s classes again, which are boring, but Chloe doodles cute pictures in her notebook and likes to participate in class, so it could be worse.

At least  _Chloe_  isn’t that boring.

Chloe also seems to know a  _lot_  of people. Everywhere she goes, someone is always stopping her to say hi. Boys, girls, professors.

Chloe is clearly the campus’ it-girl, which Beca probably would’ve known if she didn’t stay shut up in her room like a hermit all semester, but whatever.

Beca also learns that Chloe has a boyfriend.

His name is Tom and as soon as he approaches them, Chloe puts Beca back in her backpack. Beca thinks that’s kinda weird, but whatever, who is she to judge.

Tom seems nice, but also cocky and not that great of a listener, as far as Beca can tell. Every time Chloe tries to tell him something, he stares off into the distance like he’s bored and it makes Chloe’s face drop like a final curtain call.

Beca observes all of this with her head inconspicuously sticking out of Chloe’s backpack pocket.

She’s not  _interested_  in Chloe’s life, okay? Just being a hamster is really fucking boring.

And fine. Maybe’s she’s learning a lot about Chloe.

There are worse things that could happen when you’re trapped being hamster.

//

Chloe learns some stuff about her life that night, too.

She gets an F on her Russian Lit exam and it turns out that Tom was cheating on her. They break up, which is really awkward for Beca and she kind of just hides in Chloe’s backpack for the whole thing, pretending she can’t hear.

Now, Beca isn’t really good at emotions, and to be honest, she should  _not_ feel sympathy for the girl who had a part in turning her into a hamster, because  _hello, she’s a fucking hamster_.

But Chloe is the nicest person that Beca has ever met, and when Chloe shuts herself in her room crying, Beca’s tiny hamster heart beats erratically.

She wonders if hamsters can cry too.

Chloe’s a soft crier, not like Beca, whose edges only sharpen into rough sobs when she cries. Chloe’s tears fall quietly, her face pressed into her pillow and soft sniffles reaching Beca’s ears every so often.

Beca doesn’t really know what to do, because she sucks at helping people when they cry, but her stupid hamster heart pings sadly when Chloe’s whole body shudders.

She crawls her way up Chloe’s bed and pokes her small hamster nose into Chloe’s arm.

Chloe turns her head, her eyes wide and bloodshot when she looks at Beca.

“Oh,” she whispers, voice rough with tears. “It’s you.”

Beca just blinks because this would be awkward enough if she wasn’t a tiny furry rodent.

“Sorry,” Chloe says, wiping at her eyes. “I’m… I’m fine.” Chloe smiles hollowly, trying to laugh through her tears. Beca’s not really convinced.

She pushes her nose into Chloe’s arm again and lets out a loud squeak. Chloe’s eyebrows furrow.

“I’m not really sure…” Chloe stops and sighs. Then she takes her hand and gently pets it down Beca’s hamster back, which is like, super weird for Beca but also not unpleasant.

She’s confused.

She really hates this hamster thing.

“Sorry you had to hear that thing with Tom… he’s usually not a jerk like that.” Chloe shrugs and Beca feels herself roll her eyes. Well. She does internally at least. She’s not sure if hamsters can roll their eyes.

“This has just been a really bad couple of days. Like with my Russian Lit grade, I’m probably going to fail the class. And then Tom being a jerk, and everything.” Chloe sniffles. “And  _of course_ , I’m so stupid, like, sitting here crying because some stupid boy cheated on me when I turned you into a hamster! If anyone should be crying, it’s you and…”

Beca stares at Chloe, who slumps back on her pillow with a huff and shuts her eyes. “And I’m talking to a hamster. Oh my God.” She lets out a small disbelieving laugh.

Beca doesn’t really blame her.

Against all proper human-Beca instinct (does that even apply anymore???), she scooches closer to Chloe and lies down in the cavity between her chin and her chest.

Chloe sniffles again and after a second, she whispers, “Umm. I don’t know if you can understand me, but thanks.”

Beca just closes her eyes, letting Chloe cry herself out before they both fall asleep.

//

  
“Chloe!”

A voice hisses into Chloe’s room, and Beca shoots awake, her body on high alert.

And she’s still a hamster.

Joy.

“Chloe wake up!” A giant stands over Chloe’s bed, its long arm reaching to poke Chloe in the arm.

Chloe hums tiredly. “What Stace?”

“I fixed the machine. We can change them back now!” Chloe sits up abruptly, almost crushing Beca. “Are you…” Stacie leans down. “Sleeping with the hamster?”

Beca awkwardly shuffles away from Chloe, who ignores Stacie’s question. “Wait, you fixed it?”

Stacie nods, the light from the window casting dark shadows across her face. She looks like a combination between a Victoria’s Secret model and mad scientist.

Beca gulps.

“Yes, and if we go now, we can change her back before classes start!”

Chloe swings her feet out of bed, pulling some sweatpants on over her sleep shorts. She gently scoops Beca up in her palms.

“Let’s go.”

//

If anyone were to ask Beca the weirdest thing to ever happen to her, she would definitely not say it’s the time she accidentally switched bodies with a hamster.

Of course she wouldn’t because that’s insane and literally nobody would believe her.

But it’s true, and Beca just hopes that in less than two minutes time she _could_  say that. If she wanted to. Which she doesn’t because she values her freedom and not being stuffed inside a straitjacket.

Like, hello. She’s bisexual.

And not crazy.

SHE’S NOT CRAZY.

She also hopes that she’s about to not be a hamster because these last two days have been seriously less than dope.

“Okay, so I just have to put in these configurations really quickly…”

Beca fidgets, her tiny hamster body shaking in anticipation as she waits inside the pod for Stacie to fire up the machine.

If this doesn’t work, she just hopes that Chloe will keep her as a pet and she doesn’t have to participate in hamster experiments inside Lab 3.

Please let this work.

“Hurry, Stace,” Chloe whines, and Beca can hear her pacing outside of the pods.

“Almost done,” comes Stacie’s voice. “Okay! Here we go!”

The machine whirs to life and Beca holds her breath, waiting as the sparks fly and the machine vibrates loudly.

“Ready, and – ”

Everything goes black.

Beca pops back into consciousness a second later.

She heaves a breath, inhaling deeply. She immediately knows it worked and she feels like a giant, even in her small human body. She pats it down, exhaling in relief when everything seems to be okay.

She kind of smells weird, but whatever.

At least she’s a human again.

The door to the pod swings open and Chloe’s face appears in her line of sight. “Beca?”

“Uh…” Beca mutters, almost having gotten used to not speaking. “’Sup?”

“Oh my God!” Then Chloe grabs her and roughly pulls her into a hug. Beca stands there stiffly, unsure of what to do.

It’s not like they’ve actually met before.

Chloe pulls back, her smile huge and bright. “You’re a human!”

Beca scowls. “Yeah, no thanks to you guys!”

“Here,” Stacie says, appearing behind Chloe, who now looks absolutely crestfallen. “I’ll give you an extra two hundred bucks if you pretend this never happened!”

Beca scoffs and crosses her arms. “I was a  _hamster_.”

“Well, yeah, but a totally adorable hamster,” Chloe says, shooting her a wink.

Beca blinks in shock.

“I’m not adorable,” she grumbles, feeling heat in her cheeks.

“You’re also not a hamster anymore,” Stacie says, shoving the money at Beca. “And nobody will believe you, so please just don’t say anything.”

“Fine.” Beca takes the money, pocketing it.

Chloe beams and pulls Beca into another hug, which like. Weird. She pats Chloe on the back awkwardly. Chloe leans back and sticks her hand out.

“Hi!” She grins. “I’m Chloe Beale, it’s nice to officially meet you.”

Beca eyes the hand warily, but shakes it anyway. “Beca Mitchell.”

Chloe claps her hands excitedly. “You know Beca, I think after that whole ordeal, we’re going to be really fast friends.”

“Uh.” Beca snorts. “You do, do you?”

“Totes,” Chloe says. “You like David Guetta.” Then she smiles sheepishly. “Could you, uh, understand me when you were a hamster?”

Beca raises her eyebrows. “Oh, yeah.”

“Hmmm.” Chloe hums, smiling gently. “Well, great, then you already know about me!” She loops her arm through Beca’s, and Beca finds herself smiling, which makes no sense.

Maybe she  _is_  going crazy.

“So now I’ll just get to know you and all will be perfect!”

“Right,” Beca says, letting Chloe lead her out of the lab. “I need to shower first. I smell like a rat.”

“You were a hamster.”

Beca rolls her eyes. “What I am is traumatized.”

Chloe just giggles. “You’ll get over it.” She pulls Beca along, rambling on about nothing and everything. “Hey, you wanna join the Barden Bellas? We’re really fun, I swear!”

Beca opens her mouth to make some sarcastic comment, but then she thinks better of it.

Being a hamster was really fucking weird and stupid, but somehow Chloe made it not like, the worst thing to ever happen.

Yeah. She’s crazy.

(Take her away, Doc.)

“Maybe,” she says, instead.

And if Beca feels warmth spread through her when Chloe smiles at her, well.

You can just add that to the ever-growing list of things she will never, ever admit.

**Author's Note:**

> this was supposed to be a minific but nothing i do is mini except for existing because i'm smol but that's beside the point. please don't judge (only god can do that), but feel free to comment and kudos and please please please come tell me how ridiculous this is on my tumblr which is emilyjunklegacy. i am always accepting minific prompts such as this, but it takes me forever to get to them unless they're as great as this one. thanks <3


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